365 Challenge Day 273 – Acceptance

28 Apr

I’ve spoken before about my “spiritual crisis” of feeling like I couldn’t connect to the Buddhist community, possibly the Buddhist practice, and needing to explore other practices. There were several things that made it feel like a “crisis”. I didn’t like the uncertainty of not knowing what would come next, and I felt a certain amount of resentment that the community was not what I wanted it to be.

But recently I’ve begun to feel a big shift, an acceptance.  I don’t feel that resentment anymore.  I feel like I got a lot out of that practice and that community, and now it’s time to move on.  I can look back at those years with gratitude, not resentment.  I can even imagine going back there again someday, at least to meditate, but not to try to build community.

I’m even finding my way a bit back to the practice.  The teachings all still resonate with me, but I need to apply them in a different way.  A way that’s more integrated into life, not about retreating from life.


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