365 Challenge Day 56 – Retreat

16 Jul

Today my kids and I are going on a meditation retreat for 6 days.  It’s not a silent retreat, but it is at the silent retreat center I have been going to for 15 years.

I have very mixed feelings about going and what it represents.

I think when the kids were younger, and my life was more chaotic, that I really appreciated being able to get away.  It was an escape.  A vacation.  Even though silent meditation can be “hard work”, not most people’s idea of fun, it really did feel a lot more relaxing than being a single mom with two young kids while working full time!

I also must say that a week of silence allows for emotional/psychological work to surface in a way that is quite intense.  It’s like being in a pressure cooker.  All the walls we build to protect ourselves from our deepest fears can come crashing down.  (This is a good thing, if one is ready : )  So I must acknowledge that there are immense benefits to going on retreat that probably can’t be replicated in any other way.

But now I am at a very different place in my practice.  Now my practice is about INTEGRATION.  I don’t want to retreat from the world.  I want to be in the world, in the mess, in the noise, and in the chaos, and practice right here!!  I resent the assumption that one needs to get away from all this in order to practice.  As Mary Oliver said, this is our one wild and precious life.  I don’t want to retreat from it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: