365 Challenge Day 16 – Energy

1 Jun

Today I’m thinking about energy. Probably because I’m still kind of jet-lagged, and even though I’ve rolled with it the whole week, taken it easy and gone to bed early, it’s starting to piss me off.  Despite all my years in a spiritual practice that is about acceptance, one thing I have always had a hard time accepting is tiredness.  I don’t like feeling tired, in fact I kind of hate it.  Hence all the coffee drinking I have written about before.

I had an amazing day, I spent almost the entire day outside, walked in the woods, spent time with my kids at their soccer games, spent time with friends, had yummy and healthy food including a green smoothie, and did some meditation.  And yet, all day I had this sluggish feeling, even after drinking my coffee.

I’ve come to where I can accept that feeling pretty well if I think it’s temporary and I know the cause.  If I go out dancing and don’t get to bed until 3 or 4am and I’m tired and sluggish for the next day or too, fine, I smile to myself knowing it was worth it.  If I’m sick or jet-lagged, I’m pretty good about accepting it and allowing myself some days of rest if I feel I need them.  But apparently I have my limits.  I have a timetable.  I reach a point when the sluggish feeling extends beyond what I feel is warranted and I become resentful!  The resistance I have to it is almost primal.  As though I fear it will last forever.  As though I fear my very health and life were in jeopardy.

Energy is a funny thing, now matter how much we have, don’t we always want more?  We are a culture of coffee drinkers, and red bull drinkers.  We are a culture that values achievements and “doing” and does not value rest and “not doing”.  And I am absolutely guilty of these mindsets.

I guess in the end what I have to realize is despite feeling low in energy I did have a great day, and I have to remember that is possible.  Being tired is not the end of the world.  This post is really more about acceptance than about energy.  We are all heading in the direction of someday having things slow down, we hope it comes later rather than sooner, but life is unpredictable and one never knows;  it would be nice if we are able to bring acceptance and grace as we move into that era of our lives, and now is the time to practice that.



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